Gabrielle Union has long been known for her strength, independence, and unapologetic honesty. But even the most confident people occasionally discover fears lurking behind the wheel that they had never noticed were driving the bus. And that's precisely what happened to Union when she experienced a breakthrough in therapy that prompted her to reassess the strict 50/50 financial arrangement she had with her husband, NBA legend Dwyane Wade.
Last year, the actress and entrepreneur ignited a lot of chatter on social media when she went on the Black Millionaires podcast and stated that she and Wade keep all their expenses, bills, household, and beyond at a 50/50 split. At the time, she acknowledged that this mentality was rooted in a profound "scarcity mindset," a residual effect of the financial instability she went through as a young actor trying to score a break in Hollywood.
"In this household, it's fifty-fifty," she'd said, pointing out that despite her success, she still bore the weight of financial responsibility like some survival instinct she couldn't shake. "I struggle with that, still. "I think I just have a lot more responsibilities for my money."
But following a lot of soul-searching and therapy, Union recently shared on the Balanced Black Girl podcast how that perspective changed and how the real issue was never about money.
"I famously said, '50/50 or bust,'" she conceded. "I was doing that financially, spiritually, and emotionally. But there's just so many days that I'm at 10 percent, and I need him to be at 90 percent." Someday, I have none in there, and I need him fully with full s###."
Union's epiphany blindsided her to divide everything 50/50 . It wasn't about fairness, but it was about control. She now understands that the 50/50 rule was about making it safe for her not to trust or be vulnerable enough to lean on Wade when needed.
"50/50 is, 'I'm not going to trust you with 100 percent of anything because I'm not going to be vulnerable to you.' Not my heart, not my cash," she admitted.
One moment that challenged this change of perspective was when Wade asked her if she would take over their mortgage payments. Her body was in complete panic mode.
"I was going to die," she said, recalling how the anxiety had rendered her in tears and shaking physically. But what moved her most was Wade's reaction.
"He was like, 'You had pushed for that. I thought it was comforting." And I'm like, 'It did, well you out it, and I want to take it back right now.'"
That moment marked a turning point. She never questioned that Wade wasn't asking her to take on more responsibility to challenge her or because he wanted help; he was upholding her established boundaries. But those boundaries were a product of old fears, and she no longer wanted them to define her marriage.
"Because he knows it's not about whether he can cover it," Union replied. "It's about having enough vulnerability, being open enough to be like, 'Oh, yeah, I'm good.' I'm OK as his wife. He's OK as my husband. I'm OK in this family."
Union's journey is also a reminder that relationships and marriages are not a game of keeping score. Sometimes, it's one person carrying more, and that's OK. The essence of true partnership is not going halfsies on everything; it's knowing that you're looking out for each other, come what may.
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