The fire-starting rapper Kanye West, who confessed over the weekend in a now-deleted social media confession that he'd been plagued by one thing at night and apologized to JAY-Z, took to Twitter on Monday to say he'd like to bury the hatchet but may end up on the losing end.
"All dreams have come true for me, except there is still this young girl that needs to walk up to Jay Z and apologize to him," Ye wrote, a sign, for many, that guilt has come knocking at last. But just as quickly as the post appeared, it was removed from the timeline, if not from fans' consciousness following the ongoing drama.
This surprising change of heart comes months after Kanye launched a disgusting tirade against Beyoncé and JAY-Z's son and daughter, Rumi and Sir Carter. "Earlier this year, he sent the internet abuzz with a cruel tweet featuring ableist slurs directed at the children, which read, "Has anyone ever seen Jay-Z and Beyoncé's younger kids? They're mentally disabled." He made it worse with an even more jarring follow-up: "That is why artificial insemination is such a blessing.
Ye did not remove the tweet but rather uploaded it again, with the hideous compliment, "NOT BECAUSE I'M A GOOD PERSON," and then an even more offensive line: "I TOOK IT DOWN LIKE DOWN SYNDROME GET IT."
The spiral didn't end there. West raised the stakes with an attacking tweet: "F### JAY Z AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY ESPECIALLY HIS SHOOTERS," he wrote. It was another low point, generating widespread condemnation, even from Beyoncé's father, Mathew Knowles, who called West's comments "stupid" and suggested that West should get help. Beyoncé responded via her mom, Tina Knowles, who didn't call anyone out by name but had a significant social media message that reads like light over ignorance and evil Kanye.
Kanye tried to put on the brakes in April, issuing a mixed, inscrutable apology. "I'm sorry, Jay Z, I know you have the power to do that," he wrote on Twitter before returning to one of his current foils in the music business: "I be feeling a way, and I also don't question God's plan but I at least wanted to know why me? I just want to tell my story and explain how I feel." he continued in a thread temperature-checked with a sad face emoji at the end before redirecting it, "I've been a fan since I was 14 and I'm 35 — not an intern, not a little kid. "I will still be feeling bad about the palp," he added, using internet-speak and referencing the palpitations, "but it's not easy to commit to something," he went on before taking another harsh turn, "Even if it's just the music aspect. I was willing to stand up to the people that made me. And if I'm not this time, I will in God, in Jesus' name, No more cap."
The confession West deleted over the weekend that his dreams are "blessed with the breath to apologize" feels like a moment of delicate lucidity for West. Whether JAY-Z will ever apologize for the remorse or whether a relationship can recover from such vicious blows is anybody's guess. But what's clear is that the words Kanye shot out in a rage are now being played back in his conscience.
Sometimes, the cruelest punishment isn't public humiliation but going through whatever it is you've done in your head every day until you die.
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